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LUXURY-OUS COLLECTION

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The Voyager Series

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HarryPot

You see it, you smell it, you want it… it’s Automatic! (the watch, we mean…)

$340.00

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FlatEarthly

We sketched an Atlas of the World on the dial and… it’s FLAT!! Coincidence? I don’t think so…

$760.00

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bANAL black hole

You can climb every mountain, swim every sea, cross every desert. From wherever you’ll be watching, all black holes look banally alike. So don’t waste your time, go learn to plug it the right way!

$1150.00

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RTB(W) – “Right to be white”

This model brought us a ton of WOKE problems. So we put them in a WOK over a high fire, with julienne vegetables, soy sauce, and a bit of white wine and fumed them away. Now it’s OK. If you’re not, please check on the next model: maybe we’ll offend someone you hate…

$2512.00

The Shameless Series

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Contrebandier

He drives an armoured van with a bull-bar, cross the river at night on a triple-300HP powerboat. If you want to trade talc powder from South America, or fish eggs from the Baikal, he takes homemade American bourbon or Brexit-prohibited stuff. The Contrebandier is like the Chernobyl toxic cloud, or boiled cabbage’s smell: no boundary can stop him.

$340.00

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SexonTheGrass

The original name of this model (LGBTQ+xyz) indicates that it’s a time machine: a device too much ahead of its time, when it comes to civil rights. Having covered (with xyz) virtually all the finite possibilities of mixing mankind species, in 2022 we just celebrate love in the open air.

$760.00

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Shameless

So you bought a fake Daytona? You stupid, it’s a genuine, opulent Fumagazzi!

$1150.00

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Blasphemous

As many Gods mankind has worshipped, as much blasphemy has gone around for centuries. We wanted to turn things right by donating a fraction of this model’s proceedings to the most defamed religion. We just have to come up with a proper ranking and accountancy model. Stay tuned or suggest one!

$2512.00

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Impudent

So you bought a fake Daytona? You stupid, it’s a real, opulent Fumagazzi!

$340.00

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Impostor

So you bought a fake Daytona? You stupid, it’s a real, opulent Fumagazzi!

$760.00

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Insolent

No, I am NOT your father. Keep your wrist.

$1150.00

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Dark Insolent

OK, I am your father. Happy now? Now get lost and let me vaporise some planet.

$2512.00

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MonAmour (F**k le jour)

Tell your beloved one that you’d rather sleep, at night… She will discover that you do best when the sun is up!

$210.00

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The Cayman series

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The Booze Diver

– in the bathtub with the Cayman!!! This is truly a unique masterpiece, forged right under the Mariana Trench. With a Booze Diver on your wrist, no need for lead belts: you’ll reach the bottom just by wearing it.

$120.00

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Shi*wreck

– the Dark Side of a classic: down to the bottom, and digging. This model shows you the way to the toilet, when you’re in need and the dive has just begun. There are so many thrones left behind, down on the seabed!!!

$34.00

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The Dictator

This model is not fit for everyone. It’s made just for YOU. Yes, YOU. It commands respect, emanates charm, and helps you rule over your neighbourhood’s poor folks.

$65.00

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High Seas Smuggler

The Contrebandier’s older brother: Harmful, Lethal, Automatic! It’s made to withstand the pressure of a fugitive’s life: high speeds on the road, full steam on the sea, sprint runaways from the altar!

$80.00

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Blue Blood Dictator

See them bowing at your passage, hear them chanting out loud your hymn: Long life to the Ruler!!!

$120.00

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Mister Plumber

The best handyman for every need. You call him for the broken tap, he fixes your wife, also!

$34.00

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El Caimano

Forget the Everglades or Captain Hook. In Italy, this cayman is a really, really famous train engine-driver! (And you don’t need a HarryPot to see it).

$65.00

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El Caimano Negro

The same train engine-driver, but of African ancestors. Yes, in Italy they’re allowed to drive trains. We abolished slavery 10 centuries ago.

$80.00

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Fireman “Grisù”

He can extinguish everything, except your debts. He masters fire, but doesn’t cool you down (if you see what I mean).

$120.00

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Spritz!

Never had one? Never been to Italy? Oh my goodness… Get away, do the homework and come back when you’re prepared!

$34.00

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Bombardino Shot

Fuel for Skiers, the Italian Bombardino is “a creamy egg liqueur stirred into choice brandy, topped with whipped cream and cinnamon”. Fancy, anyone?

$65.00

“Things To Be Scared Of” series

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Boogeyman

He lies under your bed, hides into the closet. He stares at you while you’re sleeping… You only notice him when he steps on a Lego in the middle of the night!

$120.00

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El Pablo

If you have seen him, you’d better keep your mouth well closed. Or He will find you, eventually. And it will be a bad day…

$34.00

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Big Data Dig

Shareholders told us they want to see BIG FIGURES, or we’ll be fired… So we put the biggest we’ve found, right on the dial. We’re not 100% sure they’ll be happy, though.

$65.00

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Steven Cigar

Respect this timepiece that, regardless of his Navy Seals’ look and heavy duty materials, may be getting a bit old, puffy and out of shape. Does this remind you of some action movies’ hero? You’re right. He can still fight four villains – or love two girls his daughter’s age – at a time. Or vice-versa. (when you get older, you often forget your glasses at home…)

$80.00

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Texas Ranger

Despite his supernatural powers, which gained him perennial fame and worldwide respect, there are two little known facts about the Texas Ranger. To stay humble and connected to mortal life, he 1- decided to live in a torrid-wind swept, mass-shootings prone US state rather than Italy’s Cinque Terre, and 2- he wears a wristwatch, something dandyfully useless to a deity, for whom time is a nonsense.

$120.00

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The SpeedGunned “Velox” series

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SpeedGunned “Velox”

[If you wanna get my license, gotta catch me first!] For those who live & drive in the fast lane, flat out at the yellow light. Those who get their car seized under an inch of speeding tickets. Arrogant as you are, this watch says it out loud: “I never lift up!”

$120.00

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Krypton-Ice “Velox”

Ice and blue, like the faces of people onboard, when you reach ludicrous speed.

$34.00

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TVS “Velox”

Truckdriver Vs Streetwalker? It’s a market law, not a fight! There’s a lot of dirty job to do on the road, and someone has to get it done!!!

$65.00

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Luminol “Velox”

Always on your bedside table, keeps vampires at large. Don’t be tempted to check some hotel rooms… it works too well.

$80.00

[/vc_column_text][ult_buttons btn_title=”I WANT ONE” btn_align=”ubtn-center” btn_title_color=”#ffffff” btn_bg_color=”#cc2e2e” icon=”Defaults-shopping-cart” icon_size=”20″ icon_color=”#ffffff” btn_icon_pos=”ubtn-sep-icon-right-push” btn_shadow=”shd-bottom” btn_shadow_size=”5″ css_adv_btn=”.vc_custom_1624899508785{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”][/ult_content_box][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”boxed” equal_height=”yes”][vc_column width=”1/4″ offset=”vc_col-xs-6″][ult_content_box bg_color=”#f4f4f4″ box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” hover_box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” margin=”margin-bottom:20px;”][nm_lightbox link_type=”image” link_image_id=”319″ content_image_id=”319″][vc_column_text el_class=”.padtop42″]

Ultra “Velox”

Not gold whatever glitters. In facts, this is much, much more: it’s Fumagazzi’s shiny, quintessential Opulence!!!

$120.00

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The Experts in Love series

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T-Boner

That’s in your blood. Every girl you see blows your mind, and inflate your pants! Come on! You’d better learn a bit of self-control!

$120.00

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Jigolot

This is the watch you deserve, for your courageous, continued dedication to the oldest, hardest mission on earth: Making a woman happy, and getting rich along the way!

$34.00

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ToiBoi

You know, it’s a dirty job, and someone has to do it. But you’re the best in class, a real, Senior ToiBoi, and this is your gear!!! Measure exactly the time it takes Mummy to fall asleep, so you can escape from the window and party with your pairs!!!

$65.00

[/vc_column_text][ult_buttons btn_title=”I WANT ONE” btn_align=”ubtn-center” btn_title_color=”#ffffff” btn_bg_color=”#cc2e2e” icon=”Defaults-shopping-cart” icon_size=”20″ icon_color=”#ffffff” btn_icon_pos=”ubtn-sep-icon-right-push” btn_shadow=”shd-bottom” btn_shadow_size=”5″ css_adv_btn=”.vc_custom_1624899508785{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”][/ult_content_box][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″ offset=”vc_col-xs-6″][ult_content_box bg_color=”#f4f4f4″ box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” hover_box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” margin=”margin-bottom:20px;”][nm_lightbox link_type=”image” link_image_id=”323″ content_image_id=”323″][vc_column_text el_class=”.padtop42″]

Dr. Sexy, Ph.D

You’re so hot that your genes are studied by the most important universities, especially in the campus dorms. Your Honoris Causa gynecology post-doctorate is well deserved. Remember that, for the DNA test, one hair is enough… don’t exaggerate spreading your traces around!

$80.00

The Honesty series

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Pickpocket

For those who love keeping the hands in the pockets, not necessarily their own. A model with a distinctive style, really chic. A real must-have, fits better with handcuffs.

$120.00

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Lupin

The ultimate dragging tool emanates tons of sex-appeal, irresistible. For Left-hand drivers only: it’s designed to whisk away the cute McDrive cashier just by winking! (Refund available)

$34.00

[/vc_column_text][ult_buttons btn_title=”I WANT ONE” btn_align=”ubtn-center” btn_title_color=”#ffffff” btn_bg_color=”#cc2e2e” icon=”Defaults-shopping-cart” icon_size=”20″ icon_color=”#ffffff” btn_icon_pos=”ubtn-sep-icon-right-push” btn_shadow=”shd-bottom” btn_shadow_size=”5″ css_adv_btn=”.vc_custom_1624899508785{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”][/ult_content_box][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″ offset=”vc_col-xs-6″][ult_content_box bg_color=”#f4f4f4″ box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” hover_box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” margin=”margin-bottom:20px;”][nm_lightbox link_type=”image” link_image_id=”327″ content_image_id=”327″][vc_column_text el_class=”.padtop42″]

The Italian Job

This is what happens when a Wall Street boomer heads to Naples to learn the language… and brings back home a handful of new skills.

$65.00

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2ofSpades

Some people like to bet and lose: it’s their problem, not your fault… while some people have talents God gifted them with: it’s a blessing you can’t waste. So if you’re able to play a 3-cards game with 2 cards only, it means something… And this is the watch for you!

$80.00

[/vc_column_text][ult_buttons btn_title=”I WANT ONE” btn_align=”ubtn-center” btn_title_color=”#ffffff” btn_bg_color=”#cc2e2e” icon=”Defaults-shopping-cart” icon_size=”20″ icon_color=”#ffffff” btn_icon_pos=”ubtn-sep-icon-right-push” btn_shadow=”shd-bottom” btn_shadow_size=”5″ css_adv_btn=”.vc_custom_1624899508785{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”][/ult_content_box][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”boxed” equal_height=”yes”][vc_column width=”1/4″ offset=”vc_col-xs-6″][ult_content_box bg_color=”#f4f4f4″ box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” hover_box_shadow=”horizontal:px|vertical:px|blur:px|spread:px|style:none|” margin=”margin-bottom:20px;”][nm_lightbox link_type=”image” link_image_id=”329″ content_image_id=”329″][vc_column_text el_class=”.padtop42″]

Black Cheats Matters

Some people master the arts of prestidigitation (no, it’s not about putting fingers where you shouldn’t). Others have the power to be in 2 places at once. But even if you have the gift of ubiquity, you may need this watch, not to get lost in time.

$120.00

[/vc_column_text][ult_buttons btn_title=”I WANT ONE” btn_align=”ubtn-center” btn_title_color=”#ffffff” btn_bg_color=”#cc2e2e” icon=”Defaults-shopping-cart” icon_size=”20″ icon_color=”#ffffff” btn_icon_pos=”ubtn-sep-icon-right-push” btn_shadow=”shd-bottom” btn_shadow_size=”5″ css_adv_btn=”.vc_custom_1624899508785{padding-bottom: 20px !important;}”][/ult_content_box][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″ offset=”vc_col-xs-6″][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″ offset=”vc_col-xs-6″][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/4″ offset=”vc_col-xs-6″][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_empty_space height=”50px”][vc_column_text]

The Unreachable Series

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Lunatico Black Moon

Dark as a Black Hole, magic like a moonless night. One minute you’re as angry as stepping on a Lego barefoot, and one minute later you’re pacific and heartwarming as a panda pup. This is you. Well, a LUNATIC!!

$120.00

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Lunatico Blue Moon

LUNATIC, that’s what you are… Only two things may cool you down: a sunset motorbike ride, or a peaceful morning fishing. Better alone, in both cases. Life next to you, is a daily slalom between slaps and caresses. And this is your watch!

$34.00

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Lunatico Milky Moon

Fly me to the moon, and I’ll mark the territory!

$65.00

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Chapter 7 (Bailout)

For the real influencers, for the would-bes, for the influenced. AKA “the 7”, it’s hand-made by the Groundhogs on the Swiss Alps. Big, bold, very sophisticated, classy and of great taste. In facts, it can be eaten in case of food shortage. It smells like milk chocolate and snow-frozen cow poop. Price tag: Few minutes’ worth of Tonga’s GDP.

$80.00

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Soapy Smith

The quintessential spirit of an American tradition, 50% ConMan, 50% Artist.
If you’ve never heard of his masterpieces before, go check out his Wikipedia page! When you’re assigned one of these models, it means you’ve passed the “Italian Job” graduation exams. Now you’re ready to fly solo. Spend your time rubbing elbows with the world’s best hoax pros: sooner or later you’ll have to use those skills: against your wife and her lawyer! & Bernie Ponzi – Architects, Engineers, Scientists of the hoax: every day, Americans and Italian-Americans walk the extra mile every day to improve and experiment with new techniques. But in the end, everything goes down to the good, old “Scheme”…

$120.00

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Chapter 11 (Escape!)

Black, Bold, Cheeky, Stilish. The racing brother to the “Bailout”, sporting the same Swiss movement, Chapter11 – Escape is the quicksilver who made it to the Mexican border, before things turned too ugly. With its carbon fiber-themed dial and strap, created by our racing team, This one is for the man who plays russian roulette with the Police, and incinerates the losers on his way with high beam light flashes.

$34.00

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Surveilled

Gorgeous, magnetic, elusive. HE’s the most desired by the FBI and CIA, but not for their wrists. Dial in pure lavic stone, glass from Merlin’s Crystal Ball. When you’re wearing it, there’s a black SUV in front of your driveway. And it’s not UBER…

$65.00

PussyLova series

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Named after the famous tennis champion and world-class fashion model Natalia Pussilova. This model is sold to members of her family only. So, if you received this present by a man (no matter if it’s yours or someone else’s), it doesn’t mean two things… He is a Pussilova. Pearl, Rose, Gold, Black, White… men, women… We are all Pussilovas!

$120.00

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$34.00

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$65.00

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$80.00

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